What is Beauty?

I've raised this question before, but writer Susan May Warren got me thinking in a recent post of hers in which she discusses how to create a memorable heroine for a novel. She says it is important to make your heroine beautiful--but what, after all, is beauty? Here's an excerpt of her post:

"Beauty – what is it? An informal Warren family poll elicits very different responses:

16 year old boy: Someone who is smart.
13 year old boy: A girl who can run fast. (not sure why)
11 year old boy: Nice hair.
15 year old girl: Someone who is unique.
Married old guy: Softness. Someone who is happy and cheerful.

What makes beauty? I think we can all agree that the bible points out that beauty comes from inside, and I agree. A crabby person, regardless of how beautiful, gives off a sheen of ugly. But a lovely person who exudes kindness can be very pretty.

When we’re creating a heroine, especially in a romance, but even in a suspense, she has to possess her own beauty. This is the other Secret Ingredient to a Strong Heroine. All heroines will have something about them that makes them pretty to the hero. They could be genuinely pretty – and then, only get prettier as the hero gets to know them. Or, they could be plain, and turn gorgeous as their inner nature is revealed. The key is, the hero has to see it, and appreciate it.

For example, let’s talk about one of my favorite actresses – Jodie Foster. Love her. She’s an amazing actress. However, I wouldn’t peg her as beautiful. One of my favorite movies of hers is Maverick, where she stars as a gambler against Mel Gibson. She’s a scamp, (and he likewise), doing what she has to get to into the big poker tournament (even stealing Mel’s money!). But the more she tricks Mel, and teases him, the more she turns irresistible to him. Her scoundrel ways is what draws him to her, and they make a perfect team.

What makes your heroine beautiful? And it’s not something physical – in fact, if she’s not physically beautiful, you have more to work with. You can draw out her other features, and then as the hero begins to see her in a new light, she’ll become gorgeous to him."

Just a few more thoughts on the ethereal quality that constitutes true beauty, as opposed to the material, physical emphasis of the world and the media. If you're not a writer, keep this in mind for yourself: It's not just what's on the outside that matters. Really! If you're not yet married, ask yourself how a guy who cares about you will behave; how will he treat you? If he cares for you, the real you, and not just the "outside" you--or just himself--would he ask you to do things you don't really want to? Would he pressure you, threaten you, or, God forbid, force you to do a physical act you don't wish to?

The answer is, a big, resounding, "NO."
And don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

Susan May Warren is the author of "Book Therapy", a blog for writers.
Join her list by writing to: booktherapy@susanmaywarren.com

Anti-Ageing Run Amok

Today's post isn't directly related to the issues of the Club, granted; but I still had to include it here because it INdirectly affects each and every woman (and even men, but to a lesser degree) in Western culture.

Have you noticed that the trend to reverse aging is growing into a national obsession? It's often touted as a form of women's healthcare, but when it comes to cosmetic surgery to look younger, that just ain't healthcare, folks! That kind of "care" has a lot more to do with a woman's insecurities and self-perceived shortcomings--all which translate somewhere in the brain into being unlovable--and nothing at all to do with real health.

As usual, I'm going to say that the only healthy foundation for loving who we are has to come from loving who made us! Keeping in mind that we are given value by the God of the universe, no matter our age or appearance, can help us to avoid the pitfall of buying into today's youth culture. But, before I say more, why not click the TITLE of this post and go to a great article by Andrea Mann called, "Stop the Anti-Ageing Madness!" She's got more than a few things right.
Give it a quick look. (Click the TITLE of this post to go to the article.)

Talk to Your Daughter Before the Beauty Industry Does

There are some issues that arise in the Swimsuit Club that strike a chord in my heart. I really feel for Frannie, Jeanine, Sharona, Angela and Becky. In their own way, each of these modern girls is dealing with an identity crisis--or is it simply a beauty crisis? Or is it both? If you've been following the blog and getting to know them, you won't be surprised that each had a marked difference in how they reacted to a video I'm posting today. It looks at our modern culture's idea of beauty from a startling perspective, and raises the question: What about you? Got some talking you need to do with a young girl in your life? Got some talking you need to do with yourself?

Now, take a moment and view the video by clicking on the HEADLINE of this post. (Where it says, "Talk to your Daughter Before the Beauty Industry Does.") You'll see what I'm talking about. Then, get talking!

Here's your opening statement/questions:
What is real beauty?
And, What is it about you that is beautiful and unchanging, and can never be taken away or made ugly?

For many women, these questions don't have good answers. Can you answer them for yourself?

Here's my stab at it: I submit that what is most beautiful and real for each and every one of us can't be seen at all: it's what's on the inside that counts. Not in some wishy-washy way, but in a very real sense that our true being is a spirit, made in God's image, made to last eternally! Wow, now that's beautiful! If you can really get that: that God made you on purpose, who you are, what you are, and wants a relationship with you--forever!!--just try to catch a glimpse of how beautiful that is. How beautiful you are; Then, and only then, can you answer the questions from a right perspective.

This doesn't mean that outward appearances don't matter: in a material world, they do. But I pray that you never, ever let them matter most.

Could Fat Be Infectious?

A landmark study published this past July purports to prove that obesity is catching. To a degree.

Apparently, how your friends behave in the eating "arena" has more of an impact on you than family, genes, or prior disposition or habits. In fact, even friends you don't see often, if they are still "close" to you emotionally can impact your own weight. In a nutshell, if your best friend puts on lots of weight over the years, you are more likely to do the same, than if she stays slim.

The study's author, a Harvard professor, points out that in a sense, we've known this all along. "Who you tend to hang out with, weight-wise, is more important than who your next-door-neighbor is." Likewise, "When overweight or obesity becomes normal in a given social circle, people may be more likely to become obese themselves."

The good news? (There is good news!) It works both ways. The healthier the people you hang with, the healthier you are likely to try and be yourself. This is very true for Jeanine, as being a member of the Swimsuit Club helps her to stay motivated to swim, and eventually, even to take much better care of herself. Later posts will deal with the self-image issue, and how even overweight women have lots of power in deciding how they want the world to see them, whether they lose weight or not.

Stay tuned for more posts on weight-related issues and self-esteem! Subscribe above.

(original article by

Amanda Gardner called "Family, Friends, May 'Spread' Obesity

HealthDay Reporter

as seen in DivineEloquence Magazine, Aug/Sept Issue)

What He Doesn't Know (Jeanine)

What I wish Johnathan (that's my husband) would realize is that I did not put on weight intentionally, or to punish him, or for any reason that I know of--except having our girls. After my second pregnancy I was too tired to care about what I ate, and even though I'm not tired anymore, I still don't care. (Why should I, when Johnathan cares enough for both of us? Ha!)

He acts like my getting fat was a personal attack on him. Does he think I like walking around with all this extra weight? Okay, I like to eat, and he knew that before he married me. I was never a "skinny-minnie," you know? But when he gives me those "looks" at the dinner table, it always makes me want to add MORE food to my plate! (Sometimes I do, and then he looks even more agonized, and that makes me laugh. For some reason, there is nothing funnier than Johnathan looking terribly agonized because of my second-helpings. Just thinking about his expression at those times can make me laugh out loud.)

I love the man dearly. Just, somebody please, tell him he won't help me lose weight by walking around the house with all that disapproval on his face!

Why doesn't he just pray for me? Why doesn't he tell me he's praying for me?

Why doesn't he love me, the way I am--which just might help me become who he wants me to be? I really do want to change, but his attitude makes my resolve fizzle away. I have enough on my hands raising two, healthy, happy girls. An unhappy husband is a burden I don't need.


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Sometimes I wish I was the beautiful one (Becky)

I am thrilled that Sharona Davidson--the Sharona Davidson, the author, has joined our Club. I love that she's back in Restonville. I just sometimes can't help but notice that, compared to her, I am plain Jane.

Frannie's got a style of beauty, if you like Twiggie (I shouldn't say that! I know she's ill, and, honestly, I pray for her every night!) She could be more beautiful, if she were healthy. And Angela, is very, very pretty, even beautiful. But Sharona...well, she's got that kind of look that sets her apart. I mean, why was I surprised to learn that she used to model? All you have to do is look at her once, and then you can't take your eyes off her! I'm not sure I understand why she gave up modeling just to write, in fact.

I watch Jason and the way he looks at her, and I am happy for Sharona. Angela and I often exchange smiles when he gets "that look" on his face, (which is whenever she's around). But Sharona doesn't seem to even notice! How could she not? Any girl would be happy to have Jason as an admirer! I mean, I'm already engaged, so I wouldn't, but Sharona ought to realize what's going on here.